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Yes, I'm still alive.

That is all.

Okay, so yeah, I just posted, but there's some stuff I've been wanting to say.

Okay, first off, my worries. I worry that because I don't have a job, and because I going to be starting college, that I'm going to have and even harder time transitioning. Even though I have support from my mother (emotionally, not financially), it's still gonna be difficult. Money isn't the only issue, though...

Second off, I have a weight problem. For a male, I am almost 2x the normal weight. That is SO not cool. I already know what I should be doing... but I'm just too damned lazy. Not clear enough? THen let me clarify.

I weigh 340 lbs. Even at my height, that's quite a bit. I'm 6'4" tall, which is another thing I worry about. I mean, who likes tall girls? The only good ones seem to be models. What. The. Hell.

So, the three major things that concern me right now are as follows... Money, my weight, and my height. Oh, but that's not all. Physically, there's two MORE problems. My voice, and my feet. I know, my voice can be improved, but my feet can't be shrunk. Grah!

And something that I'm kinda confused abotu it the actual legal process of transitioning. Apparently, not ALL people have to go through therapy before they can be perscribed hormones. Then again, those people are usually the ones that order them online via credit card or such. Personally, I'd rather shed my weight before growing boobs, if you know what I mean. My weight is a real, serious problem. Not only for the "ideal me", but for my health. I'm at risk for a heart attack... then again, who isn't? What I should really say is that I have a much greater risk for a heart attack. And that, indeed, would friggin' SUCK.

In case my profile hasn't been checked much, I shall remind ya'll: I'm only 20 years old. I'm still young. But, if I can't start my transition within the next 4 years... it probably just won't happen. =(

And... that's all. Two posts in one day. Hope I didn't get too emo for ya'll.

Okay, I am FAR too lazy to keep up with IMVU. And besides, it keeps my screen saver from hitting off when I go to sleep. Then again, the thing barely works anyways. So... yeah. Time for life's update.

Today I started watching a new anime called Blue Dragon. It's based off of the incredibly popular XBOX 360 game, which WILL be coming to America. Kickass.

Blue Dragon has character design and animation by the same people who did titles such as Chrono Trigger, Dragon Quest, and Dragon Ball. Who am I talking about? The legendary Akira Toriyama. Another anime I'd like to mention, of which a character designer was also from Dragon Quest, is Beet the Vandel Buster. I'm not sure as to whether or not it's coming to America, but I sure as hell hope so, because the group that was subbing it just kinda stopped suddenly.

So yeah, I started watching Blue Dragon, and I must say: The game must be SUPER awesome. Even if it's NOTHING like the anime, I believe it'll STILL be awesome. Then again, I think that just about any RPG is awesome. Good for me. Rawr.

That's the main news for today. In other news, I made a character for a friend's online D&D campaign based on the Forgotten Realms world, which uses Races of Faerun, and just about everything else except for Complete Mage. Apparently the DM hates rigged feats. Hehe.

Aaaaand... that's all. Oh, and I've caught up with grishno's video blog on YouTube. Yay. May she be inspiration for us all.

So yeah... I only have two friends, and I'm sure they're the only ones who read my stuff, so RAWR RAWR you two rock. *waves* THAT IS ALL. =D

I just joined IMVU, and I must say, the model quality is pretty nice. I like the format, so I think I'll stay with it for a while. =D

Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful

I updated my interests! I saw that tsubasa_kurenai had lots of interests listed, so I listed lots of anime and games I like, and also music, and other stuff. So yeah. That's all. Look at my profile to see! =o

Edit: I went back to add more interests, and found out that there's a cap of 150. I had 217 when I went to update it again. XD;

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: Everclear - AM Radio

I was browsing tsubasa_kurenai's LJ, and saw some of the quizzes she's taken. So, I decided to take some myself. Here's the results.

What Type of Person Are You? [pictures + detailed results]

The pessimist - The whiner

People in this category usually have a very gloomy outlook on thing in general, trapped within a dark mind. Most of the times, it is past events that has made them pessimistic. Most likely they lived through a few unfortunate events and/or hardships that made quite a large impact on them. Now they seem to believe they have been cursed with bad luck, for nothing ever do go their way.
Positive scenarios they gladly live through, but later proclaim them as a coincidence or shrug them off. Positive things never leaves them a great, lasting impression, and they tend to hold onto events which went badly. Pessimists are seen as "party poopers" if they were to voice out their opinion. It is not that they want to live life this way, but they found that life will be unfair whether they want it to or not. Therefore they have adjusted, albeit reluctantly. They want things to be better, but seldom do anything about it. Most Pessimists are passive aggressive, and never really want to try new things. Those will probably only disappoint them anyway, they think. Many things in their lives are a disappointment to them already. They stick to what's safe and tried, for they know where they have it.
Pessimists are truly negative, and may be prone to develop depression. They often feel life is hopeless and have little to no faith in both things and people. Pessimists usually stick to "their own kind", so to speak, and prefer solitude or the company of a selected few. As a safety precaution, they never expect much. That way they won't be hurt. Pessimists are usually seen as life's victim. But even so, they are not trying to change it either way.
"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov

Take this quiz!

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What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]

You kill for revenge.
That is because you have lost something or someone you held very dear. Now you can't seem to get over the loss that marked your soul, and the only solution is to go after the one person who brought all this pain to you. Chances are you are angry inside and you bottle everything up and don't talk to anyone about it. People may want to help, but you think that they can never understand your pain and only get frustrated because of this. But it is important to see all that you have left and be thankful of that even if you have lost something great. It may not be true that Times heals all wounds, but with time and talking about your feelings, maybe the hurt will ease.

Main weapon: Yourself
Quote:"You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec
Facial expression: Gritted teeth and teary eyes
Take this quiz!

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What is your element? [with pics + detailed answeres]

Your element is Ice. This element may seem a little odd, but this is a side-effect from when the element of Water gets too hurt. Once you were a content soul, and happy with life. But then something happened. Not necessarily on one day, it probably happened gradually over time. You lost your will to care and became even more reserved from the world. People had hurt you in ways you do not want to remember and now you isolate yourself from them. You have turned into an outsider and probably dress more in black than you used to. Your depression is eating you up and tearing you apart and the worst part is that no one is willing to help, or so it seems. In school you are often by yourself or one single friend and you rarely seem to be truly happy anymore. Your sad, distant eyes and constant frown seems glued to your face and you need a saviour from this world. You may turn to music for understanding and sing/scream along in the lyrics to get rid of some pain. You are not very open about your problems to your family/friends, and wish that they would just notice it and make it go away.
Take this quiz!

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Apparently I'm a lot darker than I had originally thought. o_o;

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

I post. Rawr

Just a bit ago, I was talking to a friend over the phone about Magic: THe Gathering cards. The conversation got sidetracked, and I had remembered the PS2 game "Disgaea: Hour of Darkness" and made a comment about how, in the game, there's an actual weapon called "Horse Weiner". After a bit of joking around, I had an idea! I don't think it's been done before, but how's this sound:

A Disgaea Trading Card Game.

I know, I know, you may be thinking, "Well, that sounds cool, but just HOW would it be played?" Well, I already have a basic idea as to how it'd work. Also, I've already wrote down much of my ideas on it.

Anyways, if anyone wants to know about it, tell me so, and I'll post more!

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: Jackson Five - ABC

I don't post much, do I? It's been a while. So, here's the update on my life.

Recently, I have been designated the dishwasher position at my house while my mother works. It really sucks, soooo boring. My view on things is 'Why do -this- when I can be doing -that-?' Most people know this feeling quite well. But of course, 'tis a necessary evil.

I started playing FFXII recently, and have played it a good 30 hours so far. It was rented, not bought, and personally, so far, I think it's pretty kickass. The only downside, IMO, is that I can't get cash fast enough. I have to take a break and kick some arse now and then just to upgrade my equip. Blargh.

In other gaming news, I'm into a MMO text RPG called Shogun Wars. And rawr, I'm in the top 150. My commander, having seen such, must have been surprised. After all, he disowned his own commander, and became my officer! Ha! How awesome. Anyways, I'm primarily working on offense right now, since my opponents are starting to become a bit beefy. After all, I need more attack strength to take their gold. Though regardless, I save 500k to the side every day to go into my Shinobi's armory. Shinobi power = you can't see my gold =3. Ownage.

Other than that, not much else going on. Oh wait, anime! Yes, yes indeed, I have started some new anime. Then again, I never stop starting new anime. Muahaha. The newest of which is Master of Epic: The Animation Age, which is based on a popular japanese-exclusive MMORPG. Watching the anime is enough to make me want to learn japanese and play that game!! RAWR!! God, it looks so fun!

Another anime I started is Yoshimune, which is drawn in a chibi-like style, though the backgrounds and such are drawn stunningly well. Looking at the detail of the backgrounds, compared to the characters, there's a vast difference. I think that's cool, but a bit odd. Nonetheless, it's a pretty interesting anime, judging by the first episode.

Well, I suppose that's all for now. See ya'll some other time!

EDIT: BTW, if anyone is interested in Shogun Wars, here's a link! Become my officer! >=D

This is friggin' hilariously stupid! I love it!


Watch it or die! XD


Happy NEW YEAR! Muahahaha.

That's it. Wee.


Current Mood: sleepysleepy

Rawr, awesome! This game is totally kickass and I recommend it. What game?

Tales of Legendia

It's a PS2 game, for those who don't know. And yeah, anyone that's a fan of the Tales series of games would really love this one. The only thing I don't like about it, though, is that you can't have the original japanese voices. The voice acting isn't that bad, but it's not the greatest. I just prefer original voices.

I also got Suikoden V, which I played for a bit, and yeah, just like it's previous 4 games, it's fun. Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm an RPG nut.

On that note... *Goes to play Ragnarok Online*

ZOMG GIVE ZENY PLZ! *kills noobs*


I bet you're wondering, what exactly is it that begins? Well... I don't know! Muahahaha. Kidding, kidding. This is the beginning due to the fact that this is my first post! Rawr! I win!

So yeah. That's it.

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